Reflection

Balance. It is all about balance. This journey certainly confirmed that for me. I learned how important it is to make time for yourself but also to make time for others. I went on this trip in a soul searching effort to help myself and in the end I ended up helping others. Helping others as much as I did made me truly happy. I waited a while to write this concluding piece. I wanted a chance to truly reflect on my experiences and see where they would take me next.

I have really taken a liking to a quote by E.E. Cummings: “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” I one hundred percent agree with that quote. Too often people tend to follow others. They think that will provide them with the answer of who they are. The best way to find yourself is to figure out your own passion and chase it. For me, that is traveling and taking photographs. I do this in an effort of exploration: to learn more about life, about places and about others.  Too often people don’t take risks. They seek the easy way out and begin to blame the reason they cannot pursue their dreams is because of money, it is out of reach or simply impossible without even trying. Nothing should stand in the way of your dreams. There will always be obstacles. Things just don’t happen for you with the snap of a finger. I believe in taking action on dreams and to do that you must have courage. You must be willing to embrace change and to grow up. You must be brave enough to find yourself and be yourself. Each valuable experience that we encounter helps us to grow as a person. We never just grow up. I learned that by meeting Teri on the Halong Bay trip. He is 41 and still living passionately as he darts around the world. He not only travels for work but works to travel. He is an example that it doesn’t matter your age or if you are married or single, it is still possible to live with a youth-like passion. It is never too late or impossible to follow your dreams.

I have certainly grown during this trip. I have grown and developed who I am a on every trip, including freezing in the outback while sleeping under incredible shooting stars and a getting my heart broken on a plane home from Bali (all while clutching the bottle of holy water that my Balinese friend gave me to keep the evil spirits away). All of my experiences good and bad have developed my character. Every person who came into my life for a day or a few weeks have all left their footprints on my heart and taught me valuable things about people. There are people who think just like me, there are people who share the same confusion as me, there are people who make sense of life for me and there are the people who welcome you with open arms without caring who you are, where you’re from and what you have done. Travel gives me this gift of meeting extraordinary people. They may not know it but each individual who I have met on my travels (on this trip: the man at the airport on the way to Bangkok who bought me coffee and just wanted to talk about his wife and kids, the waiter said how happy he was to learn English, the old woman and her silent hand holding on the plane, etc.) has left an imprint in my life, in my way of thinking and in my heart. Their contributions have changed my attitude, have directed my life goals in a different direction and left me with an open and blessed mind.

I went on this trip with the intentions of soul searching. I left this trip upon the realisation that I ended up helping others more than I could have imagined and couldn’t have been happier about it. My dear Finnish friend from KL emailed me recently to inform me that he is now in his first relationship since grade 9. I’d like to think that I had a bit to do with that. I let a man vent his frustrations about his son and talk about how much he adores his family to me in the KL airport on the way to Bangkok. He obviously needed to talk to someone and I was the perfect stranger. I taught so many amazing people English. Many were trying to pass the tests for a chance at a better life and opportunities. I was a friend to those who were looking for a friend. I taught a boy who couldn’t afford to go to school and badly needed to learn the language. I helped to build a house for a family. I gave advice to a young girl who obviously needed it. I held a stranger’s hand. I donated to the Agent Orange Foundation.

Yes I had an entire 5 weeks of helping others and it was unbelievably amazing.

I’ll always remember the satisfying sound of my suitcase wheels rolling through the airport. I love that sound. This time it was different. It was a sound that symbolised love, passion, compassion and the right direction. I know that sound will come back. I know that suitcase will be rolling through the airport again, except everywhere that I travel from now, I would love to make a difference.

My experiences in Asia have opened me up to a new path towards a career. One in which I can continue to help these amazing people. I have always wanted to work for a non-profit but now I know that I would like to work for one that benefits underprivileged communities around the world.

I continue to contribute to Vietnam. My inbox of my email is constantly full with a few of my student friends asking for help with assignments or just to chat. I do my best to help them proofread their assignments and to help them with any issues they may have. Their emails are always full of life and hope and completely make my day. I am still waiting for the email from the boy who I taught at the vegetarian restaurant. He said when he makes enough money, which would be in over a month, which is probably right now, he will email me. I really wish the best for that boy and hope that he will have a better life soon.

This conclusion is not a conclusion but rather a statement of what I have gained through my journey. I will probably keep adding to it as the realisations keep occurring.  I hope to continue to add further stories of my travel adventures, experiences and incredible people that I meet along the way. Until the next adventure…….

Hanoi and the natural wonder of Halong Bay

I arrived in Hanoi in the morning and was met by my airport pickup for the Prince Hotel No.8. The man battled out road rage before he turned to chat with me. “What your name?” “Where you from?”, he giggled. He continued on with ridiculous questions such as: “You have a boyfriend? You have a boyfriend in Australia and a boyfriend here. Yea you do…oh yes you do.” This was getting ridiculous and I didn’t feel like explaining my confused status in Australia and I certainly had no one in Asia but he just went on and on so I let him be. We drove past rice fields which eventually evolved into French style building. The city was lovely and most of the buildings were a yellowish colour.

I was on the top floor of the hotel and as usual there were no elevators. After I made my way to the top floor I was sweaty, tired and hungry. I showered quickly and ventured out with my guidebook and camera. I stopped at a café along the Hoan Kiem Lake and ordered a café sooda. To my disappointment it was not as delicious as the ones served in the south. It was also quite over-priced (by a dollar). I searched the menu for decent Vietnamese food but it was all quite expensive so I chose a Western pizza instead. I sat staring at the lake while the cool breeze ripped past me. I was a My Tho snob, I concluded. Hanoi was gorgeous but it was already lacking what I loved about My Tho. I was already waiting too long for my food. My food would have been served in under five minutes in My Tho. I waited a good 20 minutes here. I missed the cheapness and the fresh food. I missed the fact that it wasn’t Western what so ever. I missed it’s dirty appeal and the delicious hole in the wall restaurants. I was already in culture shock of the West and I was still in a country that wasn’t Western at all! What did that mean for my journey home?

After eating and coming to terms that I was no longer in a different world, I began to walk around the lake. It was beautiful. I went to the Ngoc Son Temple. There was a man who was suffering the effects of Agent Orange outside of it playing a rather touching tune on his flute. A happy newly wedded couple were posing for a professional photographer on the famous red bridge.

After my exploration of the lake I decided to check out the Thang Long Water Puppet Theater. I chose to by the high class ticket for $5 and paid an extra quarter to be allowed to photograph. The show was absolutely amazing! It sent chills down my spine! The orchestra were dressed in traditional attire and played traditional instruments. The music was very chilling and beautiful. The puppets were beautifully painted and as they danced in the water they told stories of Vietnam’s culture. There were dragons and the rice field buffalos. There was conflict and there was unity. At the end, the puppeteers came out of hiding and they too were in traditional dress. They were holding a large dragon puppet. I would recommend the show to anyone!

If you do research on water puppets you could only imagine the hard work that the puppeteers go through. The puppets need to be replaced quite often which creates lots of jobs for the minorities in the North. Back in the day, many puppeteers suffered water borne diseases from the murky liquid they stood in everyday, a few times a day to please the crowd. A puppeteer must also be trained for 3 years.

After the puppets, I hopped in a cab and headed on over to the Temple of Literature. That was enormous and I actually felt like I was in China for a moment since it was highly influenced by the Chinese. It was beautiful. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it to Ho Chi Minh’s mausoleum and the One Pillar Pagoda and they were closed on Fridays. I will have to check those out when I make my way back to Vietnam.

I hopped back into a cab and went to San Ho Restaurant which was recommended as the best seafood restaurant in Hanoi by the Lonely Planet.  This status of course made the food considerably more expensive and unfortunately lobster was still out of my league. I ordered grilled scallops in a Vietnamese seafood sauce, lemongrass and chilli cuttlefish, and garlic morning glory ( a green vegetable) and green rice. It was quite a fantastic meal served with a beautiful pink lilly on the plates.  The meal was about $20. I could see why it was rated so well. I felt a little out of place as business men kept piling in to their reserved tables while there was a sweaty haggard looking girl sitting in the corner by herself with only her book and camera. I pretended I was a travel photographer as I snapped photos of the food with my fancy camera. Hey, it wasn’t really a lie. The owner of the restaurant kept coming over and chatting with me. He was really nice and he was very smooth to talk to.

I arrived back at my hotel before dark and decided that I wanted a massage. So I went to the S&F spa which was also recommended by Lonely Planet and the hotel. The hotel owner had one of his men take me to the spa on their motorbike instead of calling me a cab. The spa was so fancy! As soon as you walked in you were greeted and given spa sandals and green tea. I walked over the stepping stones and sat in a room surrounded by running water and flowers. I was soon summoned to my massage. I chose to get the Dead Sea Scrub body massage for $25. This day was a day of splurging but what the hell. This was by far the best massage I will probably ever have! First you are given a body massage, then the dead sea salt is massaged all over your body which feels amazing. Then you shower and come back to have another massage followed by a lotion massage. 75 minutes of bliss that’s what it is!

I came back to my room and slept so well that night, excited for Halong Bay!

I ate my free breakfast at the hotel (eggs and baguette) while one of the hotel staff kept smiling at me and winking. Ok buddy I know you like me but you are being borderline creepy, I thought. I sat in the lounge and waited for my tour to pick me up. A young Vietnamese girl walked into the lobby and to my shock she was the tour guide! She was wearing a short skirt and a low cut tank top. I was stressing out all morning over what to wear because I read that you should stick with conservative dress to this location. Luckily I packed a sundress just in case. If she was wearing that I was certainly wearing my dress. Her name was Lisa. Call me Lovely Lisa, she said. We walked to a very nice new black four wheel drive with leather seats. Fancier than I thought for my $56 tour. The truth is I was quite nervous about this tour originally because everyone told me that I should splurge and go the expensive route on Halong Bay. Many who have taken the cheap route have ended up with cockroaches, shitty food and rats on their tour. I was expecting an old van at least. I hopped in the car and sat next to a young Vietnamese man. “Xin Chao”, he said. “Hello”, said an excited other voice. I turned around and saw a blonde man who was all smiles. Lisa was sitting next to him. “You are the only two on the tour today,” Lisa said. “Hell yea! Private tour anyone?” said the guy. I thought in my head, hell yea a private tour with a gay man! How lucky am I?!”.

His name was Teri and he was on vacation and had only been in Vietnam for a few days. He works for American Express and now lives in Kuala Lumpur and basically has the coolest job in the world. He explained that he loves traveling. He is 41 and he is never going to stop. He said who cares about age, age doesn’t matter anyone can do it. Most people make excuses that they are too old or can’t afford it. He is also American and confirmed that Americans have this fear of traveling. He mentioned about returning to his home town or the office in NYC and that most people don’t care to hear about adventures or make snooty and ignorant comments about his travels. I told him that I know that all too well. He summed it up by theorising that people are like that because they don’t have the guts to do it which I completely agree with him. Most people are afraid to leave their comfort zone and can’t understand the people who have the guts to do it. He also made a great point about how the world seems much smaller now after traveling. “You begin to run out of new places to go and to explore,” he said. We also talked about the western world and how we love places like Vietnam because they still have that authentic traditional culture. He explained how he used to live in Paris 20 years ago and now it is completely different. We wondered what Vietnam would be like in 10 years and I was happy that I am seeing these places now before they too become a product of the Western world, globalisation and capitalism.

We were quite chatty and Lisa had to break in and give us some history. We drove through a few provinces: rural, coal, and the bay. We drove past endless rice fields and watched the farmers perform their daily maintenance. Many of the rice fields have the traditional mausoleums tomb stones. Lisa explained that the dead in Vietnam are buried for 3 years. On the third year their bones are dug up, cleaned and then placed in the beautiful mausoleums. Interesting tradition.

We stopped at a tourist rest stop in Bat Trang on the way and looked at all of the handmade products. I bought a bag of jackfruit chips (another favourite of mine) and the lady tried really hard to swindle me. She tried to make me pay 3 dollars for them when I knew they were maybe a dollar at most. I won of course. I was getting good at this now. We continued to drive by parades of school children on their way home for their afternoon breaks. Once we arrived to Halong Bay we realised that we had the entire boat to ourselves. It was just the three of us and the boat crew! The old junk was pretty big. Teri and I were quite excited! We were practically on a private tour! How lucky!

Lisa explained that their company doesn’t join boats with other tourists from other companies. They make sure that the tours stay smaller. They aim to offer a cheaper price with better quality. Teri and I climbed the ladder to the deck and stood like we were on top of the world. I was in yet another World Heritage site (have managed to visit quite a few on my travels) and one of the natural wonders of the world!!!  It was so surreal. The limestone islands were just as described: mystical and mysterious.

We went to one of the islands and explored inside the cave. It was another reserved site. Lisa told us that tradition goes that the islands (2000 or more) were formed by a dragon. As for the cave, legend goes that a couple came here to stay in love and married in the cave. They held their after party there too. As we walked through the cave we had fun pointing out what different rocks looked like. At the very end, Lisa pointed to two rocks. The one I thought looked like a cupcake. She said: “These rocks represent the couple. That one is a woman’s breast and the other is a man’s…” and she giggled. She was already the best tour guide ever. We walked down steep rocky steps, back to the dock and stood on old chairs to climb back on the old wooden boat.

It was time for lunch! Teri and I were both vegetarian and we had a mixture of vegetarian dishes and seafood. The fish was amazing along with the green pumpkin! We ate so much and were quite full as we chatted and watched the islands, some with little offerings in their crevices, float on by. Lisa began to chat about love and how she thought it was time to settle. She refuses to date Vietnamese men because they tell her she is fat (she is bigger than most of the girls but not fat!) so she only dates Americans, Canadians and Australians. She told us a story about how she fell in love with an Australian in Hanoi and he wanted to marry her. She told him no! She never saw him again and regrets it every day. “I wasn’t ready yet,” she sighed. She changed the subject and showed us a rock formation that was called the kissing rock. She showed us another call the cock rock. Yes it actually looks like a rooster. She kept yelling about the cock rock and we couldn’t stop laughing. Then she continued on about her relationship issues and told us that she went on a date the night before and had a few more lined up from Vietnam Cupid, the online dating site. It was hard not to laugh at that one.

When we got back to the harbour, one of the women on the boat showed off her real pearls for sale. I bought a pretty bracelet for $10. I got it down from $30. The boat crew waved to us and blew kisses until we were out of site. On the way home, Lisa sang to us. Then we all had a sing along to Teri’s IPod. The driver stopped for us to take photos of the dusk rice pickers in the fields. It was a beautiful day. We all exchanged contacts and I walked back into my hotel wondering how I got so lucky with that tour.

I freshened up and then hopped back into a cab and went to Fanny’s Ice Cream which was recommended by Lonely Planet. I had com ice cream (rice ice cream) which was recommended and was amazing! Then I had green tea, chocolate and coconut ice cream. Suddenly, I was still hungry so I consulted my guide book on where to head to dinner. I ended up going to Quan An Ngon. It was so crowded! I soon learned why. It was excellent and cheap authentic Vietnamese street food served in style. So for my last night in Vietnam I ordered mashed shrimp cooked around sugar cane. That was served with rice papers, a plate of delicious greens, green bananas and fish sauce. The server cut the mashed shrimp off of the sugar cane for me and soon I was rolling up my fresh spring rolls and biting into heaven. I ordered a Vietnamese sweet soup for dessert. The sweet soup I chose was steamed banana and coconut milk. AMAZING. The meal cost me less than $5. I went to bed so happy and full.

The next day I packed and took a walk around the Old Quarter, which is right where I was staying. I walked along a herbal medicine street that smelled wonderful. There were all sorts of herbs, mushrooms and little bottles containing magical cures I’m sure. I walked down a lane of clothing shops and bought a pretty dress and a shirt for less than $12. Then I walked along a street with beautiful handmade home items and I spent a few dollars here buying beautiful things for my bed and my room. My miniature hand painted tea set is my favourite purchase.

Soon it was time to grab my bags at the hotel and check out. The woman behind the desk tried so hard to swindle me and get more money out of me but unfortunately for her I recognised Vietnamese words, was in the country long enough to understand how things work and the man who had checked me in didn’t decide to play along when she called him. I walked out victorious. I ate my last bag of jackfruit chips in the airport and sadly said goodbye to my home for one month as I was ushered off of the shuttle bus that piles the airplane passengers on like sardines until it stops in front of the plane. I would have a stopover that night at Kuala Lumpur and then make it back to Brisbane the following Saturday night.

The rest of Dalat and my remaining time in My Tho

The next morning (Sunday) I went on a scenic tour of Dalat that was sponsored by the hotel. A smiling man picked me up and his English was very good. His name was Bai, like the number seven in Vietnamese. Along for the tour were a couple from Holland and another couple from America. The Americans were from Colorado and are currently living in Laos doing some volunteering and getting in touch with the girl's family (she is originally from Laos). They hope to find a full time job and plan on adopting a Laos child which I think is pretty cool.

We saw so much on that tour! We began the tour at the greenhouses. Dalat is known for its beautiful flowers that can’t be produced anywhere else in Vietnam. A dozen roses start at $1 for the lot. We saw beautiful mountain views, went to a tribe village of the Lat people. They are the minority and live in complete poverty with dirt roads. It began to rain as we made our way to the cricket farm. The Vietnamese harvest the crickets and there is actually a huge process in order for the crickets to be big enough and just right...for EATING. We tried some sweet chilli crickets. It was scary at first and I'm not quite sure if it agreed with my vegetarianism but they weren't bad! They were really crunchy. You just really can't look at or pay attention to what you are eating and you'll be fine. The girls actually ate more than the guys which was pretty funny.

Next we went to stop for coffee and to see how rice wine is made. We went to a little back room that and looked at the stages of the rice fermenting. It was a really interesting process. Basically the rice is cooked and then left in big pots to ferment for a few days. Each day they get stronger and smell worse. I tried a sip of the rice wine at 75% fermented. It was absolutely horrible and I think my taste buds burned off from the alcohol. It must be an acquired Vietnamese taste like Durian. After that we sat around waiting for the rain to stop and enjoyed the thickest and blackest coffee. It was pretty nice. Bai showed us a special brew of coffee that Dalat was famous for: Weezle coffee. The story goes that years ago the weezles were eating the coffee beans on the coffee plantations and then pooped the beans out. The locals decided to try to roast the poop and it became a very delicious and famous coffee that is a delicacy today. It runs for 300USD for a small pack. I don’t think any poo can be worth that much but it didn’t smell bad.

We went to a silk factory. It was really interesting. Cacoons are collected and then they are dropped in boiling hot water in order to kill the caterpillar inside. Most people eat the caterpillar. I am happy to say that I didn’t try that one. The hot water also helps to unravel the delicate silk which then gets worked around machines and produces amazing material.

After that we went to see the Elephant Waterfall. It was a really beautiful. There was unexpected slippery rock climbing involved and the guide was climbing over the rocks like it was a piece of cake! The waterfall was so powerful! He had us get really close to it to take photos and we almost blew away from the force. Then we went to a minority shop near the waterfall. A woman with too much white face powder instantly ran to me and screamed: “ Your eyes your eyes!”. She really loved my eyes and soon all of the staff were freaking out and giving me discounts. I bought a lovely orange silk scarf there and a little handmade bag. After we enjoyed some tea that the women brought out to us it was time to leave. Of course I couldn’t leave without a photograph of me and the ladies. Their little dog was also present in the photo.

Next, we stopped at the Happy Budda Pogoda. It was a gorgeaous temple and there were so many people there in maroon and greyish blue robes. Bai explained that it was a holiday in Buddism and it was the day to worship the dead. It was fascinating watching them pray. I would really like to learn more about Buddism. Bai explained what some of the statues meant which was a start. I wandered to the back of the Pagoda and through lovely gardens.  The rain made it all the more beautiful and mystical. I wandered past some young monks and up the stairs to face a massive fat and white smiling Buddha. I turned and looked at the dragon statues and the mountains with the clouds of fog drifting over them. I was in an entire different world and it was wonderful.

We drove down the road to a little wooden home on the lake. On the deck facing the lake we all enjoyed a massive feast ordered for us by Bai. Then we continued on to the coffee plantation. We were supposed to see a beautiful mountain view but the rain came back so we couldn’t do that. Instead we went to the old railway station which was beautiful. It was a popular place for wedding photos by the old locomotives.

Overall it was a fantastic tour and Bai was awesome. After the tour I went to see the Crazy House which is pretty crazy. It was an original design by a local years ago. It has an Alice in Wonderland feel to it. You can see anything from a kangaroo with glowing red eyes to beautiful views of colourful purple and pink flowers framing the city’s unique architecture.

Then I had a wander through the Dalat market. Everyone was dressed like winter and it almost felt that way with the cooler temperature and dreary weather. The women were cooking over a fire, mostly bank xeo (the Vietnamese pancake) or corn on the cob. The market was bustling with clothing, fresh exotic fruits and veggies and so many coffee and tea shops. I bought a pair of fake sunglasses off of a man for $5 and he polished them up for me quite nicely and gave me a little case. Then I made my way to a Lonely Planet recommended restaurant called Duy Quy. It was so cute. The waiters wore tuxes and I had candlelight and a flower at my table. I ordered a glass of Dalat red wine, artichoke tea (amazing), vegetarian fresh rice paper spring rolls, vegetables in oyster sauce with rice, and a caramel flan dessert. It was quite delicious and only 111 dong ( $5 ).

I went back to the villa and was overwhelmed with happiness. I had the best day and I was so relaxed. I met amazing people and saw so many amazing thing and ate an incredible meal. I went to bed and cuddled in my oversized doona. On the way home in the morning I marvelled at the beautiful mountains, architecture and rice paddies. There was also something very calming about having a few monks on the bus with me too.

I got back into Saigon and then Nick had arranged a driver to take me from there back to My Tho. When I got back I had a wonderful bowl of Pho from the ladies outside of my guesthouse. There was a man there who called me over to sit at the little table next to him and his wife. He spoke to me the entire time in Vietnamese. I spoke back in English. Somehow we had a ridiculous conversation going. That night I went to teach at New World. When I walked into the classroom, the class exclaimed: “Lindsay!”. It was a class that I taught before and they were so excited to see me! They kept saying “Yay” and clapping their hands. I was pretty surprised and flattered. I guess I must have done something right the last time I taught them!

After class Miss Moon took Riley and I for sautee which was a tomatoey noodle soup with beef but I of course got it without. It was really good. Miss Moon gave me a certificate of teaching and a beautiful crystal purple windchime. I love her!

On Tuesday morning I taught a class with the Australia man Ron and Riley. Anthony was in that class and it was quite enjoyable. The topic was music. Then Ron explained to the students that it was my last day and to ask me about my time in My Tho. I got so emotional. It was quite embarrassing. The truth is I love that country and My Tho. I never knew much about it before other than the war and the students and the staff really taught me a lot about Vietnam. They made me feel so welcome and really gave me amazing memories. Teaching english isn’t saving the world, especially to a private school where kids can afford to go. But the experience and the fact that they were so happy to have my help and to have a Westerner visit really made me feel fulfilled. Vietnam is a country that is moving forward and I see it everywhere. I just really hope that it keeps its traditions as well because that is part of what makes it such a special place.

After that class, Miss Moon and Anthony took Riley and I to one of the Mekong Islands for the day where we shopped for coconut wood souvenirs and took a boat ride in the canal again. Miss Moon insisted that I try on the Vietnamese traditional dress and the woman sold it to me for a special price. Then we took a boat ride in the canals again. Anthony was begging us to sing. So he sang with Riley: “E.T.” by Katy Perry. Then I sang with him the entire Backstreet Boys song “I want it that way”. It was hilarious. We were both so off key and had so much fun singing it. Here we were in a traditional little boat passing other boats with the traditional women in there, in the jungle. Singing a pop song! Antony bought me a key chain which was sweet and wished me the best of luck.

That night I had my last two classes and then Miss Moon took Riley and I to the Night Markets where I indulged in the amazing salt and pepper prawns one last time. At 4 am my driver was waiting to take me to the airport. Riley was so wonderful and woke up to say bye to me and help me with my bags to the car. She is an amazing person and I will miss her a lot.

On the plane from Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi, I sat next to a old woman and her grandson. They didn't speak english. We flew over spectacular views of this beautiful country and the woman was so excited and happy as she leaned over me to look out the window. So was her grandson. She grabbed my hand and the three of us smiled and watched the world below us. Here was a special moment. Here is a woman who had to be at least 80 or 90. In that moment two beautiful strangers from different places shared happiness. That's the beauty about language barriers. Sometimes it teaches us that words don't need to be shared. Sometimes emotions, a gesture or a smile are all you need to communicate and achieve a state of happiness.